Poetry, Portfolio

Endgame

Love as I’ve known it has been nothing, if not conditional.
“Be smart because people admire intelligence.”
“Stand straight so you seem gushing with confidence.”
“Be quiet and I will let you out to play.”
“Let me in so I can break you, then fix you.”

Win. Win. Win. LOSE.

In a court of law, you’re innocent until proven guilty.
My darling, trust me on this one thing —
I have been trained by hurt to hunt down the evidence
With senses as sharp as a ravenous bloodhound.
You best be warned that if you are guilty, I will know what of.

Win. Win. Win. LOSE.

Eighteen years, knocking gavels, has been more than enough,
More than enough to keep me doubting my brain,
Brain, why do you keep telling my lungs to breathe faster?
Why do you keep looking out for the stop sign
On a street that hasn’t even been constructed?
What will it take for you to call off the search party
For a clause that no one intended to exist?

Win. Win. Win. LOSE.

In the game of love, everyone loses if one of them quits,
But I don’t want to play anymore.
I want to find my endgame, love him even.
So, brain, please, no more.
I don’t want to keep losing by default.

 

*Note: Endgame was first published on http://amelioratism.livejournal.com/ on 28th November 2014

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