It’s been a good few months since I last posted something and I think it’s about time I started again. Here’s a review of my past year.
The past year has been interesting, to say the least. This time last year, I was struggling with the anxiety of possibly not getting into university because my grades didn’t meet the entry requirements. I was stuck working a job with so few weekly hours that I found neither financial benefit nor fulfillment. I didn’t mind that jobs and I’m not about to complain about it because I know that there are worse problems to have. It just weren’t what I was expecting when I had my life planned out. I tried applying to other jobs. I tried putting my writing and art out there. Nothing worked. I was stuck.
This went on for a good few months until I eventually graduated from my Advanced Diploma programme and got called in for a job interview on the same day. Funnily enough, I also received and read my second university rejection letter just minutes before I walked into the job interview. I got the job, but I wasn’t sure whether I should have been ecstatic or depressed. I hadn’t been a big believer of signs since I was seventeen, maybe, but two instances of my academic life “ending” on the same day that my working life “started” was a bit too coincidental to ignore.
My parents suggested that I apply for a school in another country. Admittedly, I did it half-heartedly because I didn’t really care for the programme at the time. It was a pretty good school so I figured I’d get rejected anyway. I mostly did it because I had nothing to lose from doing so. Then I got accepted, and everything changed. I started getting excited to go to work every day because every day was a day closer to going back to school. Maybe I didn’t care about the programme, but I loved school.
This was around that time that I dropped this blog entirely and spent more time writing fanfiction because it felt less like work and more fun. I love writing and I love writing original fiction, but I’m not about to pretend that it isn’t incredibly hard for me. Fanfiction has established characters and tropes that I can easily pick up and use as I like it. It was also fun to talk to other writers who enjoyed the source material as much as I did. I started getting a bit of a following, which I’ll admit, my ego enjoyed thoroughly.
At the same time, there was a lot about fandoms that I started to no longer enjoy. I’ve been on tumblr years ago, and I’ve never had to endure ship wars and fighting as ridiculous as it is now. I started being extra cautious about whatever I wrote and whatever I shared, to the point where I just felt suffocated by everything. I made a few friends who I hope to stay friends with for a long time, but there were also a few enemies I made along the way. For a while, I wanted to quit. Then I realised that there’s really nothing that’s stopping me from doing that. I could just quit. Fanfiction was never the end-all and be-all of what I wanted to do with my life, and I wasn’t about to make it so. It was always about the craft for me. Fanfiction was just the medium that I chose at the time.
All this to say, I’m not about to quit writing fanfiction yet. However, I will be writing a less than I used to because I’m trying to get this blog up and running again. I have an idea for an original piece that, even after more than a year of sitting on it, still doesn’t seem half bad. I think I’ll have a go at rewriting it. I’m also going to try to read more books this year and write more reviews and analysis essays. They were really fun to write and I’m starting to miss that.
Anyway, 2017 was good to me. I hope it was good to you too.